I figured it out.

After walking out of the theater yesterday, I was stumped on how a film like The American evolves into the final product. But I figured it out. It went something like this: in 2005, Martin Booth wrote A Very Private Gentleman, what sounds like a patient and poignant character study with a gradually-increasing air of suspense. Eventually someone decided to adapt it into a script. So they pitched it to some investors. “Since it only has five major speaking parts, it’ll make a good indie film”, they said. “Well it takes place in Sweden and Italy, it could be a great foreign language feature”, they theorized. Then George Clooney walked in and said, “Hey guys, I’ve been looking for a project where I don’t have to talk a lot, but most of the film will be shots of me being tense and thoughtful. Preferably drinking espresso”.

A film is born.

The American is marketed as being about an assassin waiting for his last assignment in a rural Italian town. These are lies. It is about a man (Jack? Edward? What a mystery!) who makes a living crafting and acquiring weapons for other assassins. He is ambushed in the beginning and makes a rash and somewhat nonsensical decision (it’s the only fucking surprise in the film, so I won’t ruin it). On the run from these Swedish assassins, he calls his handler, Pavel (Johan Leysen), in Rome. From there, he is off to Castel del Monte, a pristine, rustically beautiful town nestled in a quiet mountainside. While waiting for the “heat” to wear off, he is offered a contract he decides will be his last. The rest of the film he is constructing a rifle, teaching the assassin (Thekla Reuten) how to use it, forming a subtly emotional friendship with a priest (Paolo Bonacelli), and engaging in a “romance” with Clara (Violante Placido), a local prostitute.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the entire story. I did not leave out anything that you won’t figure out five minutes into this film.

For the first hour, I was onboard. Apparently the whole cast (minus Clooney) is well known on their respective foreign soils, and they all give solid performances. I admired the patience that music video director Anton Corbijn brought to the project. I appreciated the purposefully simplistic camerawork of virtually unknown cinematographer Martin Ruhe. The sweeping scenery and awe-inspiring shots of Castel del Monte are complemented perfectly by unaccomplished German composer Herbert Gronemeyer (the score feels a bit out of place these days, but would have been perfect in the late ‘70’s, and works for this story). The extreme silence of the film sets up the anxiety, isolation, and regret felt by the main character, to the point where a motor scooter backfires, and the audience jumps as much as Clooney does.

Then I realized that everything I suspected early on was actually going to happen, and the tension evaporated. If that wasn’t enough, the “building” tension was like an escalator to nowhere. You can’t put an audience through an hour and a half of boring-ass Clooney facials, and then not have an explosive finale. Butterflies are not explosive, not matter how pretty and delightful they are.

With a better script, this could have been a great indie film. With an Italian director, the heavy-hitting foreign cast could have cleaned up at Cannes. But Clooney doesn’t do indie, and he doesn’t do foreign, and now we have a steaming pile of boring that I know will be nominated for at least two Oscars, and it makes me angry. The only satisfying part of The American’s end was hearing other people in the audience talk about how disappointing it was. The fewer pseudo-intellectual liberals with Clooney-boners I have to deal with, the better.

One final thought: In the novel, the main character’s cover is a wildlife artist doing artwork on an endangered butterfly. Plausible. In the film, he’s a photographer with a butterfly tattoo in the middle of his upper back.

That’s just fucking gay.

FINAL GRADE: C-

click here for a full list of the winners.

The Box – Written and Directed by Richard Kelly
The premise of this film sounds like a bad teenage horror story. A strange man gives a box to a couple having money problems. They will get money every time they push the button, but every time, someone they don’t know will die. Though it’s riding on Cameron Diaz’s acting skills (um…), if anyone can make it cool, writer/director Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales) will have no problem.
Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella, James Rebhorn
November 6

Endgame – Directed by Pete Travis, Written by Paula Milne
Another slow, patient South African political film? Meh. I mean, I really like Hurt and Ejiofor, but Pete Travis directed Vantage Point, which sucked asshole. I really, really want it to be good, I’m just scared it’s going to be really, really bad.
William Hurt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Johnny Lee Miller, Mark Strong, Derek Jacobi
November 6

The Men Who Stare at Goats – Directed by Grant Heslov, Written by Peter Straughan
Actor Grant Heslov hasn’t done much directing. Same goes for Peter Straughan and writing. But if you look at this cast, you really can’t go wrong in a story about Telekenisis/Psychic programs in the army. Hell yes.
George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey, Robert Patrick, Stephen Root
November 6

Precious – Directed by Lee Daniels, Written by Geoffrey Fletcher
I hate the fact that the full title of this film is “Precious: Based on a novel by Sapphire”. I also hate the fact that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey are “presenting” this one. However, cliché and cheesy as it most likely is, I seriously almost cried watching the preview. This has the potential for two hours of raw emotion that leaves you speechless. Or two hours of horrible acting and bullshit storyline. I’ll wait for cable.
Gabourey Sidibe, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz
November 6

The Fantastic Mr. Fox – Written and Directed by Wes Anderson
I hate, I hate, I hate Wes Anderson. However, there are always a couple elements of his films that impress me, and his attempts at stop motion animation intrigue me. Will I like it? Probably not. Will I see it? Of course.
George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, Willem Dafoe, Owen Wilson, Michael Gambon
November 13

Pirate Radio – Written and Directed by Richard Curtis
When I saw the preview for this, I thought, “Hey, that looks exactly like that movie advertised last year called “The Boat that Rocked”. Wait… I have no idea why this film took so long to release, or why they changed the title, but after waiting so long, I’ve built it up to possible “Almost Famous” level in my head. I really hope I’m not disappointed.  About a boatful of radio DJ’s who broadcast banned music over British airwaves in the ‘60’s. Curtis directed Love Actually.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, Nick Frost
November 13

The Messenger – Written and Directed by Oren Moverman
Foster and Harrelson play a very overlooked part of the military in this new drama about the officers who deliver the horrible news to KIA soldiers’ families. Foster starts to care too much…you see where this is going. Moverman’s first film, looks good.
Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton, Jena Malone
November 13

2012 – Directed by Roland Emmerich, Written by Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser
When I want to see an action packed explosion film with weak story, I’ll catch the new Michael Bay flick. When I want to see a really entertaining film with great special effects that will leave me dumber for having watched it, I’ll go see a Roland Emmerich film (Independence Day, Stargate, Godzilla, 10,000 BC). If you don’t know what this film is about, you should probably look into it, cause we’re kinda running out of time, dude…
John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover, Oliver Platt
November 13

That Evening Sun – Written and Directed by Scot Teems
I think Clint Eastwood had a scheduling conflict playing a grumpy old man in Gran Turino, so Holbrook stepped in. This is a perfect example of a cookie-cutter Midwest drama starring a senior citizen afraid of change that might not be very good, but will definitely get nominated for at least 2 Oscars. Don’t get me wrong, Hal is great, but the story has the potential to be full of holes.
Hal Holbrook, Ray McKinnon, Mia Wasikowska, Carrie Preston
November 13

Uncertainty – Written and Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel
At the risk of sounding like a douchebag, I am very uncertain about this movie. Part romantic comedy, part drama, part action thriller? So confused. McGehee and Siegel have written and directed three other films together, and I’ve never heard of any of them. But Gordon-Levitt hasn’t let me down so far, and Thirlby and Collins are sexy. I’ll flip a coin.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lynn Collins, Olivia Thirlby
November 13

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – Directed by Werner Herzog, Written by William M. Finkelstein
Controverial old-school director Werner Herzog (Encounters at the End of the World, Grizzly Man) is remaking the 1992 drama (starring Harvey Keitel) about a gambling/drug addict cop, and he’s setting it in post-Katrina New Orleans. They say it’s Cage’s best performance since Leaving Las Vegas (not really hard), and Kilmer’s presence is reassuring. Looking forward to it.
Nicholas Cage, Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, Michael Shannon, Fairuza Balk, Xzibit, Shawn Hatosy
November 20

Chi Bi (Red Cliff) – Directed by John Woo, Written by John Woo and Khan Chan
This is an epic film in the style of Hero and House of Flying Daggers. John Woo started out with some good films (A Better Tomorrow, Killer, Hard Boiled), he even had some good American movies (Hard Target, Face/Off), though there were bullshit ones too (Windtalkers, Paycheck). However, his dramas, like Last Hurrah for Chivalry, have gone largerly unnoticed by American audiences. And, of course, it’s been out in China for two years, and we’re just getting it now. Tarantino needs to step his game up.
Tony Leung, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Wei Zhao
November 20

Fix – Directed by Tao Ruspoli, Written by Charles Castaldi and Paul Duran
Documentary filmmaker Ruspoli blends styles in this fictional documentary about a convicted drug dealer and his friends, who are attempting to raise enough money to put him in rehab before 8pm so he can avoid jail time. I can already tell that Andrews’ over-the-top personality is going to steal the show, and Wilde is kinda cute. When’s it coming to Netflix?
Olivia Wilde, Tao Ruspoli, Dedee Pfeiffer, Shawn Andrews
November 20

The Missing Person – Written and Directed by Noah Buschel
Modern noir about a private detective (Shannon in a lead role…nice) searching for a missing person after 9/11. Elements of drama and comedy make it appear a little disjointed, but Shannon and Ryan are solid. Kinda surprised it didn’t go straight to DVD, but whatever.
Michael Shannon, Amy Ryan, Frank Wood
November 20

Me and Orson Welles – Directed by Richard Linklater, Written by Holly Gent Palmo
I can’t see Efron’s name on anything without thinking Highschool Musical, which makes me want to punch everyone under the age of 17 in the eye. However, this film is a little more dramatic, a lot less musical, and Christian McKay looks like the best Orson Welles since D’onofrio in Ed Wood. And if that still doesn’t convince you to see this period film about Welles directing stage plays, I have three words for you: Richard motherfucking Linklater (Scanner Darkly, Waking Life, Dazed and Confused). There you go.
Zac Efron, Claire Danes, Christian McKay, Ben Chaplin
November 25

Ninja Assassin – Directed by James McTeigue, Written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski
The directors of The Matrix are producing this balls-to-the-wall violence-fest about…are you ready? A Ninja Assassin. Crazy right? Just think blades, bullets, blood, and nonstop special effects. I can’t freaking wait.
Sung Kang
November 25

The Road – Directed by John Hillcoat, Written by Joe Penhall
I must admit, I didn’t care for Cormac McCarthy’s award winning novel. The fact that writer and director are inexperienced worries me. Whether the acting, cinematography and effects can save it or not, the story makes me think no one will like this no matter what.
Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, Garret Dillahunt
November 25

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Metropia – Directed by Tarik Saleh, Written by Fredrik Edin
Anything with Vincent Gallo attatched generally gets my attention (Buffalo 66 was fucking weird). In this animated social commentary, Gallo’s character goes nuts when he starts hearing voices in the expansive underground tunnels Europe was forced to build after gas prices went too high. The animation looks pretty damn cool, so we’ll see.
Vincent Gallo, Udo Kier, Juliette Lewis, Stellan Skarsgard, Alexander Skarsgard
November 6 (Sweden)

Harry Brown – Directed by Daniel Barber, Written by Gary Young
Michael Caine hasn’t really been a badass since Get Carter, but this one may change that. Granted, it’s another cranky old man pissed off at street hooligans, but they did kill his friend…and he is ex-military. Comes out in the UK this month, possible limited releases in US. Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Iain Glen
November 11 (UK)

Los abrazos rotos (Broken Embraces) – Written and Directed by Pedro Almodovar
Almodovar is huge in Spain, and the last time he teamed with Cruz was Volver, which was damn good. This film is about a writer/director telling a young man the story of why he changed his name after an accident took the life of his true love 14 years prior. Limited release this month, but expect it to be everywhere in time for the Oscars.
Penelope Cruz, Lluis Homar
November 20 (Limited)

Mammoth – Written and Directed by Lukas Moodysson
Husband and wife with a “perfect” life are put to the test when he takes a business trip to Thailand and decides to let loose a little. It looks very similar to parts of Babel, but more focused. Bernal and Williams have grown on me the last couple years, and Moodysson has done good work in Sweden.
Michelle Williams, Gael Garcia Bernal
November 20 (Limited)

Amreeka – Written and Directed by Cherien Dabis
We’ve seen this kind of thing on TV and in movies before. Actually, a lot recently. But this story of a single mother emigrating from Palestine and working at a White Castle in Illinois looks interesting. If you liked The Visitor, you’ll probably enjoy this, and it’s gotten a lot of positive reviews from Cannes and Sundance.
Nisreen Faour, Melkar Muellam, Alia Shawkat
September 4

Carriers – Written and Directed by Alex and David Pastor
Chris Pine (Star Trek, Bottle Shock) has already proven himself to be a versatile actor. Looks like your typical virus-ends-mankind thriller, but since when is that a bad thing? The Pastor brothers are new, but the preview is enticingly vague and eerie.
Chris Pine, Piper Perabo, Lou Taylor Pucci
September 4

Extract – Written and Directed by Mike Judge
The creator of Beavis and Butthead and King of the Hill has been sadly absent from cinema since Office Space in 1999 (save 2006’s Idiocracy). About an Extracts plant owner who thinks his wife is cheating on him, the fact that the preview and the tagline compare it to Office Space could spell trouble, but Judge, Bateman, and J.K. Simmons haven’t let me down so far.
Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Mila Kunis, J.K. Simmons, Kristen Wiig, Clifton Collins Jr.
September 4

Gamer – Written and Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Pro: It’s good to see Gerard Butler in an action movie after being in bullcrap like P.S. I Love You, Nim’s Island, and The Ugly Truth. Con: The Writer/Director team is the same guys who did Crank and Crank 2. Futuristic story about convicts who are players in a live action video game, controlled by real people. The winner is set free…everyone else dies. Granted, it appears to be a solid movie, but Crank 2 didn’t do anything for Jason Statham’s career (especially after Transporter 3), and after movies like Death Race, The Condemned, and Running Man, don’t expect to see anything groundbreaking.
Gerard Butler, Ludacris, Michael C. Hall, John Leguizamo
September 4

9 – Directed by Shane Acker, Written by Shane Acker and Pamela Pettler
Sure, 9 little rag dolls running around in a post-apocalyptic world might not rattle your cage, but after seeing Sebastian’s Voodoo at the Ashland Festival last April, I can’t wait to see Shane Acker’s animated short come to life as a full length feature. Not only is the voice casting solid, but it’s being produced by Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for 9 years (don’t worry, I already punched myself for that one.)
Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, Crispin Glover
September 9

The Other Man – Written and directed by Richard Eyre
Liam Neeson suspects his wife is cheating on him. Then she disappears, which makes him…slightly more suspicious. So he sets out to find and meet the man she’s seeing. Then they play a game of chess (if only Ingmar Bergman was alive to collect royalties on that). Kinda looks like Taken 2, but Neeson, Banderas, and Linney are all solid, and Eyre directed Notes on a Scandal, which got a lot of Oscar attention. Also based on a short story by Bernhard Schlink, who wrote The Reader. Unsure about this one.
Liam Neeson, Antonio Banderas, Laura Linney
September 11

The Burning Plain – Written and Directed by Guillermo Arriaga
Kicking off Oscar pre-season is Guillermo Arriaga’s (writer: 21 Grams, Babel) poignant drama about three women searching for happiness. Not only are Theron and Basinger involved, but composer Hans Zimmer (Frost/Nixon, The Dark Knight), cinematographers Robert Elswit (There Will Be Blood, Michael Clayton) and John Toll (Gone Baby Gone, The Last Samurai, Almost Famous), and Production Designer Dan Leigh (The Last Kiss, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) are all present and accounted for. Could be a contender.
Charlize Theron, Kim Basinger, John Corbett, Jennifer Lawrence, Joaquim de Almeida, Robin Tunney
September 18

Disgrace – Directed by Steve Jacobs, Written by Anna Maria Monticelli
Adaptation of Nobel Prize winning author J.M. Coetzee’s (Elizabeth Costello, Waiting for the Barbarians) novel about a professor in post-apartheid South Africa who has an affair with a black student. When he is dismissed, he goes to live with his lesbian daughter, and they are attacked by a group of black teenagers. Films like this are hard for Americans to swallow, because they often forget that apartheid really didn’t start to disappear until 1994. Rookie director and writer, but Malkovich is always brilliant.
John Malkovich
September 18

The Informant! – Directed by Steven Soderbergh, Written by Scott Z. Burns
I’m trying very hard to forget about Ocean’s 11-13, and Soderbergh’s love affair with George Clooney. If I focus really hard on films like Out of Sight, Traffic, and Sex, Lies, and Videotape, then maybe I’ll give this Kurt Eichenwald (Conspiracy of Fools) adaptation of an agricultural businessman turned government informant a chance. I make no promises.
Matt Damon, Scott Bakula
September 18

Paris – Written and Directed by Cedric Klapisch
About a Parisian man with heart disease who is waiting for a transplant. He observes the city, and the people around him as they struggle through life and love. Klapisch looks fairly prolific in France, and I’m a Juliette Binoche fan. Looking forward to it.
Juliette Binoche, Romain Duris, Fabrice Luchini
September 18

Jennifer’s Body – Directed by Karyn Kusama, Written by Diablo Cody
A hot high school girl takes a plain jane under her wing. Turns out she’s possessed, and trying to kill everyone. Normally I won’t even mention high school horror films like this. However, the people involved have me interested. Diablo Cody wrote Juno, which was amazing. Kusama directed Girlfight (good), but she also did Aeon Flux (not good). Probably won’t see it on the big screen, but I’ll look for it on On-Demand.
Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, J.K. Simmons, Amy Sedaris, Adam Brody
September 18

Splice – Directed by Vincenzo Natali, Written by Vincenzo Natali and Antoinette Terry Bryant
Again, normally I wouldn’t hype a film that appears to be a rip off of Species. But it also reminds me of Mimic, which was directed by Guillermo del Toro and, interestingly enough, del Toro is producing this sci-fi thriller. I like Adrien Brody, and I liked The Orphanage. Enough said.
Adrien Brody, Sarah Polly
September 18

The Blue Tooth Virgin – Written and Directed by Russell Brown
As an aspiring writer, I’m always a sucker for a film about aspiring writers. Two such people in L.A. have their friendship thrown into turmoil when one of them doesn’t like the other’s new screenplay. I’m interested, but most of you might wait until you see it on cable.
Karen Black, Roma Maffia, Lauren Stamile, Lance Aaron, Amber Benson, Bryce Johnson
September 25

The Boys are Back – Directed by Scott Hicks, Written by Alan Cubitt
The director of Snow Falling on Cedars and Hearts in Atlantis is teaming with Clive Owen for this dramedy about a man trying to raise his young son and reconnect with his older son after his wife dies suddenly. Looks more dramatic-family-dynamic than feel-good-comedy, a good departure for Owen as of late.
Clive Owen
September 25

Brief Interviews with Hideous Men – Written and Directed by John Krasinski
Krasinski’s directorial debut portrays a woman (Nicholson) interviewing men about their relationship patterns. Might not be really innovative, but after The Office and Away We Go, I’ll shell out $10 to support Johnny K. Not only that, it’s based on a short story by David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest), who is freaking brilliant. Good luck finding this anywhere, though; I can’t even find an actual preview yet.
John Krasinski, Julianne Nicholson, Timothy Hutton, Lou Taylor Pucci, Josh Charles
September 25

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell – Directed by Bob Gosse, Written by Tucker Max
I’ve picked up Tucker Max’s book several times from the discount table at Borders, but, funny as it sounds, it’s not my kind of literature. However, the subject matter should make for an entertaining movie, and the outlandishly misogynistic things this guy says should be good for a laugh (the first line of the preview had me laughing out loud.)
Jesse Bradford, Matt Czuchry, Geoff Stults, Traci Lords
September 25

The Invention of Lying – Written and Directed by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson
As much as I respect Ricky Gervais (The Office…no no, the original one), this inside-out Liar Liar has the potential to be esoterically dull. That being said, anything with Jeffrey Tambor has my initial approval.
Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Jonah Hill, Patrick Stewart, Jeffrey Tambor, Jason Bateman, Tina Fey
September 25

Pandorum – Directed by Christian Alvart, Written by Travis Malloy
Unknown meets The Descent meets Event Horizon in this sci-fi thriller about two crewmen aboard a large transport spaceship. They wake up alone, without any memory, and start to see weird monsters and crazy visions. Ben Foster is creepy all by himself, but this film looks dark and tense. Director, cinematographer, and editor each have a respectable body of work in Germany, but few successes in the US. I’ll definitely see it.
Ben Foster, Dennis Quaid, Antje Traue, Norman Reedus
September 25

Surrogates – Directed by Jonathan Mostow, Written by Michael Ferris and John D. Brancato
This is an almost Aasimovian story about a future where everyone just stays home on the couch, and controls a robot surrogate in the outside world with their mind. No one’s supposed to die. Then someone does. How do they never see that coming? Unfortunately, Mostow directed Terminator 3, which, along with Terminator Salvation, was also written by Farris and Brancato. If I see Schwarzenegger once, I’m throwing popcorn.
Bruce Willis, Rosemund Pike, Ving Rhames, Radha Mitchell, James Cromwell
September 25

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Dorian Gray – Directed by Oliver Parker, Written by Toby Finlay
Oscar Wilde’s original novel may have been a bit dry, but it’s a classic. Like most classics, however, this one is yet again being twisted and exploited by the film industry. The effects look cool, but the story seems a bit off, and the shameless addition of lurid sex scenes, while generally enticing, is just corrupting another good book, so today’s teens can read the smutty film novelization instead of the real thing. Not sure when it’s hitting the states, but the UK gets it next month.
Ben Barnes, Colin Firth
September 9 (UK)

Creation – Directed by Jon Amiel, Written by John Collee
The story of Charles Darwin in the midst of his controversial theories on evolution. It’s supposed to be based on a biography, but it appears to have a little church propaganda slant to it. Nevertheless, Bettany and Connelly are generally good, and the genuine emotions in the preview look solid. Not sure when we’ll see this one, but once again the UK gets it next month.
Paul Bettany, Jennifer Connelly, Jeremy Northam
September 25 (UK)

by The Great White Gypsy

X-men Origins: Wolverine - Directed by Gavin Hood, Written by David Benioff
You wouldn’t think that the guy who directed Tsotsi and Rendition would be asked to start off the Origins spinoffs, but he was. Goes back to the very beginning of Wolverine, whose past has always been shrouded in mystery and violence. Looks pretty cool.
Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Ryan Reynolds, Dominic Monaghan, Kevin Durand, will.I.am
May 1

Battle for Terra - Directed by Aristomenis Tsirbas Written by Evan Spiliotopoulos
I know, it’s a cartoon, but this looks really cool. It’s essentially a space invasion story, with humans as the merciless invaders. The subtle emotions and moral subtext might be lost on the kiddies, but it seems layered. And shit, look how many people are lending their voices (it’s a who’s who of the obscure, but there’s a lot of them…)
Evan Rachel Wood, Brian Cox, James Garner, Chris Evans, Danny Glover, Amanda Peet, David Cross, Ron Perlman, Danny Trejo, Rosanna Arquette, Luke Wilson, Dennis Quaid, Justin Long, Beverly D-Angelo, Mark Hamill
May 1

Home – Written and Directed by Mary Haverstick
Extremely indie film about a mother trying to save her house, and connect with her daughter. Newcomer Haverstick looks like she has a little growing to do, but it seems to have done well in several festivals.
Marcia Gay Harden, Michael Gaston, Eulala Scheel
May 1

The Limits of Control – Written and Directed by Jim Jarmusch
Focus Features started out cool, but it’s had its shortcomings lately. Jim Jarmusch is hot and cold for me. Broken Flowers was cool, Dead Man was awesome. But the last time he tried to do an assassin movie, it sucked ass (Ghost Dog). I’ll give him a chance, but if I see Forest Whitaker in there, I’m done.
Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, Gael Garcia Bernal, Isaach De Bankole
May 1

Little Ashes – Directed by Paul Morrison, Written by Philippa Goslett
The “untold” story of Salvador Dali, Luis Bunuel and Federico Garcia Lorca in Madrid’s tumultuous 1920’s. No one recognizable involved, but it has a Motorcycle Diaries-meets-The Dreamers kind of feel to it. Could be interesting, if not informative.
Javier Beltran, Robert Pattinson, Matthew McNulty, Marina Gatell
May 8

Adoration – Written and Directed by Atom Egoyan
This did very well at Cannes, and apparently Egoyan is kind of a big deal. About a kid who writes a family history paper for French class, involving terrorism and intrigue, and then hosts an online video chat to discuss it. One question: Why is Scott Speedman in this?
Scott Speedman, Rachel Blanchard, Kenneth Welsh, Devon Bostick
May 8

Management – Written and Directed by Stephen Belber
Belber’s directorial deflowering about a hotel manager (Zahn) who meets a traveling saleswoman (Aniston), falls in love with her, and follows her around the country. Sure, when Steve Zahn does it, it’s funny and touching, but when I do it, all of a sudden the term “restraining order” comes up. Lame.
Jennifer Aniston, Steve Zahn, Woody Harrelson
May 15

Summer Hours – Written and Directed by Olivier Assayas
Yeah, I admit it: I’m a fan of Juliette Binoche. French director Assayas’ story of a family coming to terms with their emotional memories when they must part with their material belongings. Also an IFC release, which is always cool.
Juliette Binoche
May 15

Terminator Salvation – Directed by McG, Written by John D. Brancato and Michael Ferris
The best part of Terminator 2: Arnold Schwarzenegger running like a little girl. The best part of Terminator 3: Kristanna Loken naked (goddamn). The best part of Salvation: Christian Bale yelling at a cameraman. Seriously, this movie looks awesome. Bale has proved himself as an action star, the effects look sick, and it’s set in the future. My only complaint: who the fuck let McG direct this? Really? The guy with no real name who directed Charlie’s Angels 2? Is he a 32-year-old Hawaiian organ donor too? Part of that 12-dollar ticket better be going to buy that guy a fucking surname.
Christian Bale, Helena Bonham Carter, Common, Jane Alexander, Moon Bloodgood
May 21

The Girlfriend Experience – Directed by Steven Soderbergh, Written by Brian Koppelman and David Levien
I gotta believe George Clooney is pissed about not being in this, considering he’s Soderbergh’s bitch. This is very similar, if not identical, to Secret Diary of a Call Girl, but it looks really interesting. Also, this is Sasha Grey’s feature film debut (don’t act like you don’t recognize the name, I know you have a copy of Face Invaders 4 under your bed), and even though Magnolia Pictures is very hit and miss, it looks good. Hey, Barb Wire didn’t premiere at Sundance.
Sasha Grey
May 22

The Brothers Bloom – Written and Directed by Rian Johnson
Johnson wrote and directed Brick, which most people thought was weird, but I freaking loved. This is way different, but it’s a caper comedy, and the cast looks good. As long as they’re not talking like The Big Sleep, it’ll be fine.
Mark Ruffalo, Adrien Brody, Rachel Weisz, Rinko Kikuchi
May 29

It’s 2009. The Golden Globes have come and gone. Obama is officially president. We can finally put 2008 behind us, right? Wrong. Tomorrow, the Academy will announce its nominees for the 2009 Oscars ceremony on February 22. Which means for the next month, you can add, “So who do you think will win best sound mixing?” to your repertoire of suave pick-up lines.

As we said, we’ve never really paid attention to the Golden Globes. Around this time of year, we’re usually already trying to predict not only the Oscar nominees, but also the winners. However, after the surprising sweeps by Slumdog Millionaire and Kate Winslet, we decided to read up on the HFPA and compare them with the Academy. We found some interesting stuff.

2006 was the year of Crash, at least for the Oscars. Strangely enough, it didn’t even get nominated for a Golden Globe, which went to Brokeback Mountain (over A History of Violence) and Walk the Line (over The Squid and the Whale). If that wasn’t weird enough, George Clooney and Rachel Weisz undeservedly won both awards for best supporting (Syriana and The Constant Gardener respectively), and Ang Lee won both for Brokeback Mountain (also undeserved).

2007 saw some interesting competition. Little Miss Sunshine, Thank You For Smoking, The Departed, Babel, The Queen…the list goes on. The Academy was, if nothing else, consistent in its awards (The Departed won a couple…). The HFPA, on the other hand, gave best picture to Babel and Dreamgirls, the latter actually cleaning up the Golden Globes, with Eddie Murphy winning best supporting actor (Alan Arkin wasn’t even nominated, seriously?) and Jennifer Hudson getting supporting actress in both ceremonies, which is just silly.

2008 was the closest race in recent years, so we can’t be mad at either group. Atonement got the Globe for best picture, No Country for Old Men got the Oscar. Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) won a director Globe, The Coens scored the Oscar. The only travesty was Tilda Swinton winning a best supporting Oscar for Michael Clayton.

What we found interesting was that, in all three years, every Oscar winner for actor and actress also won the Golden Globe. Philip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) and Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) in 2006. Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland) and Helen Mirren (The Queen) in 2007. Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood) and Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose) in 2008.

So what will happen in 2009? Will Danny Boyle finally grab the gold? Will Mickey Rourke finally give an acceptance speech (it sure as hell better not be Colin Farrell). Or will the Academy condemn the HFPA for not at least giving Woody Allen or Sean Penn a reach-around for being overrated?

We’ll see tomorrow.

I have been a film buff since I was little. I probably get a lot of it from my father, who had a sizeable VHS collection in the ‘90’s. One of his random acquisitions was Raising Arizona. He told me not to bother with it, that it was weird and ridiculous, some director he’d never heard of. So I took his advice, and didn’t watch it.

A couple years later, around 1995, it was movie night at home. We rented The Hudsucker Proxy, because it looked funny. I thought it was really cool, but everyone else hated it. I didn’t even bother to check who directed it.

Cut to 1998. I had seen The Big Lebowski advertised on TV, but being thirteen, I couldn’t see it by myself. My dad rented it when it finally came out (still on VHS), and we both loved it. I had never seen anything like it, I didn’t know what a White Russian was, but one thing was clear: The Dude definitely abides. I felt that tingly feeling in my gut, and I knew I was in love with the Coen Brothers.

Over the.years, I’ve been able to get my hands on all of their films, even their little known debut Blood Simple (1984). They range from the comically absurd (Raising Arizona, Intolerable Cruelty) to the dark and violent (Fargo, No Country for Old Men). From the quirky drama (The Man Who Wasn’t There, Barton Fink) to adaptations of Greek literature (O Brother, Where Art Thou?). They’ve been nominated for 8 Oscars (winning 4), 5 Golden Globes (winning 1) and 10 nominations over the years at Cannes (winning 4).

In a nutshell, they are freaking amazing.

Most people will tell you that, No Country for Old Men aside, O Brother, Where Art Thou? Is the best Coen film. This is debatable, but it is very well done. Only Joel and Ethan could adapt Homer’s Odyssey, set it in the 1930’s dust bowl, and turn it into a chain-gang escape film. They even use an old-timey soundtrack while the three heroes are being seduced by sirens, fighting the Cyclops, and running from the lawman.

A lot of directors have a trademark. Music, certain cinematography techniques, casting, dialogue, etc. The Coen’s trademark? Tonality. They generally have every cinematic element in place, everything is cohesive and well crafted. But what makes a great director (or in this case team) is the intangibles. Those things that, be it a comedy, a drama, or a political thriller, maintain that indescribable air that lets you know this is a Coen Brothers’ film.

It also doesn’t hurt to have familiar faces throughout the resume. Steve Buscemi, John Turturro, John Goodman, George Clooney, Frances McDormand, and Bonnie Hunt have all shown up in multiple Coen projects. But it’s also the familiar faces behind the scenes. Carter Burwell has been the composer in almost all of the Coen’s films, and he’s done a great job. Roger Deakins has been on board as cinematographer since Barton Fink (1991). Production Designer Dennis Gassner has also been involved in the bulk of the Coen’s work. And it doesn’t hurt that Joel and Ethan Coen have not only written and directed all of their films, they’ve also edited them (together under the name Roderick Jaynes). The Coen’s haven’t just had an amazing career; they’ve built an empire.

I did finally watch Raising Arizona. When I saw my dad next, I said, “My friends call me Lenny, only I ain’t got no friends.” He didn’t get it. So I said, “Don’t fuck with the Jesus.” He hit me with a Bible. He doesn’t understand.

Coen Brothers Filmography:

Burn After Reading (2008)

No Country for Old Men (2007)

The Ladykillers (2004)

Intolerable Cruelty (2003)

The Man Who Wasn’t There (2001)

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

The Big Lebowski (1998)

Fargo (1996)

The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

Barton Fink (1991)

Miller’s Crossing (1990)

Raising Arizona (1987)

Blood Simple (1984)

Good morning Mr. and Mr. Coen,

Your mission this year, should you choose to accept it, is rather simple: Make an entertaining film. 

Your last project, No Country for Old Men, was groundbreaking and bold, deserving every Oscar nod it received. Your portfolio, from Raising Arizona to The Ladykillers, establishes your style as a director. Bumbling, ordinary people are not bound to the “slapstick” pigeon-hole genre due only to your artfully shot, well-written stories.

However, we want this film to depart slightly from your style. We want you to experiment a little. Have some fun. This should be a political intrigue thriller. The camerawork, locations, even the score, should give the illusion of a serious CIA film. However, we want your traditional characters. They should all be relatable to the audience, but oblivious and out of their element. They should all be like children who walk into a movie half way through and miss the point.

As for casting:

George Clooney does his best work in your films, we think he would compliment this project well as a philandering ex-operative who takes himself too seriously. Though Michael Clayton was awful, we also think Tilda Swinton would be great as his cheating-counterpart, adding a cold, selfish, and just as clueless sensibility. We always enjoy seeing John Malkovich yell at people. So make him timid and uncertain, perhaps an analyst, who  screams at everyone. Though he may get lost in the plot, he will take himself more seriously than anyone. Throw Brad Pitt in there too. We’re not huge fans, but people seem to like him. Let him be an energetic moron, but don’t give him too much screen time. J.K. Simmons should be involved somehow too. He’s amazing. And we know that you are obligated to include your wife in this, so come up with something. We don’t really care. She’s usually good, but rarely carries anything well alone. She can round out the character development.

Remember, this film should be extremely entertaining; it’s tone should be humorous and accessible, but not pretentious or satirical. The characters should be well intentioned, completely oblivious to their ineptitude, but not successful in their endeavors. We do not want another “The Man Who Knew Too Little”. 

We have no doubt that you can bang this out in no time at all. It may seem like career-filler at first. But it will be well received and entertaining, another esoteric comedy to add to your resume.

This project is top secret, and cannot fall into the hands of enemy directors or moronic actors. 

Please burn this message after reading.

Atonement

This sophomore effort by Joe Wright is a directorial paint-by-numbers designed specifically to get an Oscar.  It is rigid, mechanical, and devoid of the emotions it is supposed to arouse.  The score, costume design, and cinematography are all solid, but not extraordinary.  The screenplay lacks the substance to make you believe James McAvoy and Keira Knightley are truly in love, or truly suffering for the sake of it.  The acting is good, but appears to be hindered by a director unwilling to go outside the lines and actually make a film.  Will it win?  Probably.  Does it deserve to win? No.

Juno

For what it is, this film is perfect.  The quirky dialogue, music, and animated introduction all fit together amazingly on screen.  The subject matter is somewhat controversial, the parental reactions are unconventional, but it is a heartfelt story with amazing performances by the entire cast, great editing and camerawork.  I‚m just excited it was nominated.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>Michael Clayton

This is Rainmaker with a better cast, The Firm with less tension, and A Civil Action without victims or a clear understanding of the crimes committed.  John Grisham can write better in his sleep.  Editing, directing, cinematography, screenplay, acting, are all lacking.  George Clooney is George Clooney; no intensity, emotion, or drive in the character.  Tilda Swinton is barely in it, and she did a better job in The Chronicles of Narnia.  Tom Wilkinson deserves the nomination, but not the win.  He does crazy very well for 20 minutes, but we‚ve come to expect this from him.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>There Will Be Blood

For a film based on an Upton Sinclair novel, this movie is unconventional and well crafted.  Long and unusual camera shots, intense acting, and a killer score highlight a brave directing style.  Day-Lewis is an intriguing and multi-layered character whose ambition is depicted very well in the first ten minutes (in which there is no dialogue whatsoever).  The sound bleeds and artistic disconnect between sound and camera, are risky moves, but work out well.  My only complaint: The last 30 minutes are too removed from the rest of the film to make any real sense, and the characters and dialogue are completely different without an explanation.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>No Country for Old Men

My favorite film of 2007.  Directing was on point with established Coen Brothers style, with solid additions.  The lack of a score is still a score, as the silence is itself a character that plays well with the rest of them.  Cinematography and lighting are fantastic.  The screenplay is nothing spectacular, but the adaptation is respectable.  Performances are all seamless and tempered by simple, deliberate dialogue that allows intense emotions to come from scenes and facial expressions.  Javier Bardom is amazing, a standout performance that leaves you feeling uncomfortable and unnerved even when he‚s not on screen.  No lacking elements, and some extraordinary ones make it my Oscar pick.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>Additional Picks

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>American Gangster

It takes a great director and great actors to produce a film like this nowadays.  It is calm, patient, and explosive at the same time.  Characters come off contradictory, but not underdeveloped.  Cinematography is solid.  Music and art design are perfect for the period.  It seems to have aspirations of Michael Mann‚s Heat, and it understandably falls short, but this film is well rounded, beautifully directed, and completely underappreciated by the academy.  That‚s a damn shame.

Zodiac

David Fincher‚s early 2007 adaptation of Robert Graysmith‚s book is dark, eerie, and well crafted. Typical Fincher, not his best, but solid.  Definitely one of Ruffalo‚s best, though Gyllenhaal doesn‚t stand out.  Editing and cinematography are worth a nod, as is the adapted screenplay.  It came out too early to get any credit.

Sunshine

Sci-fi films usually never get any kind of award notice.  However, this brilliant new film from Danny Boyle is a masterpiece of cinematography, editing, and stunning visuals.  It sucks that, in this genre, amazing filmmakers are overlooked, but Pirates of the Caribbean can get multiple nominations.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>Saw IV

I know, I know.  It‚s a low budget horror sequel not worthy of a Golden Globe.  However, when I walked out of this film, I wasn‚t thinking about the gore, the twists, or the revamping of the franchise.  I was thinking, „Damn, that was some amazing editing.‰  I say, if The Bourne Ultimatum can get three nominations it doesn‚t deserve, maybe the Academy should think a little more outside the box.

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p class=”paragraph_style_2”>The Kingdom

Oscar winners Jamie Foxx and Chris Cooper have been in better films, but this was a great, non-political movie that could‚ve easily been nominated for best cinematography or sound mixing.  If I find out it‚s because it‚s about Iraq, heads will roll, Hollywood.

My condolences to the Academy for 2007.  It must be difficult to compile a list of nominees without being able to nominate Oliver Stone, Jack Nicholson, Ron Howard, or Peter Jackson.  Maybe next year.