by The Great White Gypsy

I know that I’ve been slacking on my pimping as far as movies go. I’ve been super busy with other projects and, honestly, August wasn’t a great month for film. However, September is jam packed with interesting and anticipated releases, and I couldn’t bring myself to skip it.

The American - Directed by Anton Corbijn, Written by Rowan Joffe
Corbijn may not have any films to speak of outside music videos. And Joffe’s only big one was 28 Weeks Later, but even the poster for this film - reminiscent of Peckinpah’s marketing - gets me excited. Clooney is an assassin doing his last job in Italy. The plot is really simple, but this is oldschool cinema at it’s best. I’m just hoping the cinematic maturity doesn’t hide a weak script. Looking forward to it.
George Clooney, Irina Bjorklund
September 1

My Dog Tulip - Written and Directed by Paul and Sandra Fierlinger
I’ve become a big fan of foreign animation over the years. This simple story of an old man finding a spirited canine companion, and the understated artwork seem like a cross between The Triplets of Belleville and Marley and Me, but with British sensibilities. And I’m willing to bet Rossellini does the voice of Tulip. Hey, it’s better than sex with insects
Christopher Plummer, Lynn Redgrave, Isabella Rossellini
September 1

Machete - Directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, Written by Robert and Alvaro Rodriguez
I told you! If I put it in the last Coming Soon, it would get here faster. Finally, the wait is over for the craziest film to ever be based on a fake preview. Robert Rodriguez is a disturbingly cool individual and, though his producer presence wasn’t enough to salvage Predators, this is going to kick ass.
Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan
September 3

The Winning Season - Written and Directed by James C. Strouse
Ok, so a movie about high school girls’ basketball doesn’t sound cool. But what if Sam Rockwell is the coach? and Rob Corddry is the principal? Even if this got a wide release, I probably wouldn’t shell out ten bucks for it. But those two actors are enough for me to catch it on OnDemand (or the internets, whichever comes first). My only hesitation is a guy who’s been a sex addict, a con man, and been alone on the moon probably shouldn’t be let near a high school. Just saying.
Sam Rockwell, Emma Roberts, Rob Corddry
September 3

The Afterlight - Written and Directed by Alexei Kaleina and Craig Macneill
Most of you will pass on this film, especially if you watch the preview. It could either be a super mature film (which is what the critics are saying) that builds slowly and pays off at the end. Or it will be a pretentious artsy film that tries to say things with its silence and fails completely. The themes involve letting go of the past, starting over, and human connection. If the critics are right, it’s a surprisingly mature film for rookie directors. Who listens to critics though? Wait…
Michael Kelly, Jicky Schnee, Ana Asensio, Rip Torn
September 10

I’m Still Here - Directed by Casey Affleck
I’m only including this one because I think everyone should be aware of it. Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck decided to make a documentary out of Phoenix’s attempt to shrug off what must have been a sad, deeply unfulfilling (successful) film career and become a rapper. The younger Affleck hasn’t even proved himself a consistent actor, and he’s directing things now? That and the title is ironically apt, since I’m kinda getting irritated that Phoenix just won’t FUCKING LEAVE. I’ll download it to watch him make an ass of himself, but please for the love of god, don’t give him your money; it’ll only encourage him.
Joaquin Phoenix
September 10

Lovely, Still - Written and Directed by Nicholas Fackler
Fackler’s first endeavor seems to fall somewhere between The Notebook and Away From Her. I will be the first to admit that those are both damn good films, but when you’re watching a movie about old people dating for the first time in decades, you kinda know how it’s going to end. That aside, this looks pretty heartfelt and young at heart. Awww. They’re old.
Martin Landau, Ellen Burstyn, Adam Scott, Elizabeth Banks
September 10

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Written and Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
I know that all the Resident Evil video game fans are pissed that this franchise isn’t the spooky, dark horror gore-fest they were expecting. But the first two films were pretty damn cool. Third one, not so much. Unfortunately, this one looks one step above Ultraviolet (worst movie ever), but in the midst of the misguided gimmick that is Hollywood 3D, the handful that are actually intended to be 3D will always have my attention. Because whatever you tell other people, you know Avatar’s 3D was the shit, and everyone secretly wants to see Piranha 3D.
Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Kim Coates, Shawn Roberts, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Spencer Locke
September 10

The Romantics - Written and Directed by Galt Niederhoffer
I really thought this was gonna be another dumb chick flick (no offense, chicks). But after reading about it and watching the trailer, I think there’s something there. Niederhoffer wrote the novel, and she’s produced some off-the-radar goodness (Trucker, Dedication, Grace is Gone), so we know she has her indie integrity and character insight intact. The cast definitely makes me wonder, but separately most of them have one or two solid projects under their belts. Still not an Akerman fan, though. I dunno.
Katie Holmes, Anna Paquin, Josh Duhamel, Malin Akerman, Adam Brody, Elijah Wood, Jeremy Strong, Candice Bergen
September 10

Never Let Me Go - Directed by Mark Romanek, Written by Alex Garland
For those of you who don’t recognize the name, Alex Garland is a very talented screenwriter who teamed with Danny Boyle on The Beach, 28 Days Later…, and Sunshine. Granted, this coming of age story set at an English boarding school is a slight departure from zombies and space travel. And Romanek’s only film was One Hour Photo (Robin WIlliams’ continuing struggle to be taken seriously). But this could very well be this year’s Atonement, only with the welcome absence of Joe F-ing Wright.
Keira Knightley, Andrew Garfield, Carey Mulligan, Charlotte Rampling, Sally Hawkins
September 15

Devil - Directed by Drew and John Erick Dowdle, Written by M. Night Shyamalan and Brian Nelson
The Good News: screenwriter Brian Nelson wrote Hard Candy and did work on 30 Days of Night, so we know he’s talented. Also, Geoffrey Arend is just funny no matter what.
The Bad News: The Dowdle brothers gave us Quarantine, which was a bullshit remake. Also, there is a complete lack of star power here.
The Worst News: Shyamalan is a fuckhead, and the twist is that he’s the devil, and the plummeting elevator is a metaphor for his film career. Fool me once, Shyamalan, shame on you. Fool me seven times…
Geoffrey Arend, Chris Messina, Bokeem Woodbine, Bojana Novakovic, Matt Craven
September 17

Enter the Void - Directed by Gaspar Noe, Written by Lucile Hadzihalilovic and Gaspar Noe
In Irreversible, Noe showed us the brutal side of life. His follow up attempts to tackle the beautiful side of death. A brother and sister make a pact to never leave each other. When the brother is killed in a Tokyo nightclub, he returns as a ghost to protect his sister. His last film was dark and gritty, but Void looks bright, colorful, and mesmerizing. A lot of cinephiles are already on its nuts, and I think I’m one of them. It will probably blow your mind.
Nathaniel Brown, Paz de la Huerta
September 17

The Freebie - Written and Directed by Katie Aselton
Aselton could arguably contend with Greta Gerwig for the title of Mumblecore queen. Acting, directing, writing; she does it all. The Freebie definitely classifies as Mumblecore. A young couple, in the face of a dwindling sex life, agrees to allow each other one one-night-stand to save their relationship. Dax Shepard always struck me as the poor man’s Zach Braff, but he puts on his serious face in this one, and it appears to work. Most likely won’t be coming to a theatre near you, but I’ll see it the first chance I get.
Dax Shepard, Katie Aselton, Bellamy Young
September 17

The Town - Directed by Ben Affleck, Written by Peter Craig, Ben Affleck, and Aaron Stockard
Say what you will about Ben Affleck the actor, but Gone Baby Gone was an impressive piece of directing. When you make a movie about goofily-masked bank robbers, you will inevitably be compared to Point Break. But really, Hall and Lively are both damn attractive, Hamm is spreading his Mad Men wings, and Renner is officially a fucking ganster now. Editor Dylan Tichenor and cinematographer Robert Elswit both worked on There Will Be Blood and Magnolia, and they each have an amazing resume besides. This is going to be a fun action movie no matter what.
Ben Affleck, Jeremy Renner, Jon Hamm, Blake Lively, Rebecca Hall, Chris Cooper, Pete Postlethwaite
September 17

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger - Written and Directed by Woody Allen
I’ve never been a huge fan of Woody Allen, but his last few attempts have been uncharacteristically subpar. This is his usual eclectic cast, interwoven stories and characters, quirky humor, and awkward moments. The cast is fantastic, and he seems to have returned to his usual tone. Unfortunately, that narration I’m not the least bit fond of is back in the trailer. I’m apprehensive.
Antonio Banderas, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Naomi Watts, Gemma Jones, Ewen Bremner
September 22

Jack Goes Boating - Directed by Philip Seymour Hoffman, Written by Bob Glaudini
It wouldn’t be the beginning of autumn without Hoffman and his talented, artsy antics. It is understandable that, for his directorial debut, he chose Glaudini’s play about offbeat working-class relationships in NYC. Hoffman starring in the lead is of course a plus. This is definitely his wheelhouse, but we’ll see if he can pull it off behind the camera.
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Ryan, John Ortiz
September 23

Buried - Directed by Rodrigo Cortes, Written by Chris Sparling
It bothers me when an unknown writer and an unknown director put out a super low budget film and are immediately compared to Hitchcock. It’s almost blasphemous. As good as Ryan Reynolds is, there have been numerous thrillers in the last decade which take place in a figurative or literal “box” and are hyped up and compared to classics only to fail miserably. That being said, I can’t help but be intrigued by Van Wilder stuck in a box for 90 minutes. Maybe.
Ryan Reynolds, Samantha Mathis
September 24 (Limited)

Howl - Written and Directed by Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman
I feel like anytime you make a film about a compelling historical figure during a pivotal cultural period, James Franco needs to be involved. This feeling is apparently shared by newbies Epstein and Friedman (too easy). Franco plays Allen Ginsberg, the American poet who was put on trial for obscenity after publishing the poem “Howl”. This was a big hit on the festival circuit, and the supporting cast is near perfect. Can’t wait.
James Franco, Mary-Louise Parker, Jon Hamm, Jeff Daniels, Alessandro Nivola, David Strathairn, Treat Williams
September 24

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole - Directed by Zack Snyder, Written by John Orloff and Emil Stern
Animated features continue to surprise me these days. So it’s no surprise that they’ve upped the ante by placing the now-infamous Zack Snyder at the helm of this book adaptation featuring warrior owls. It reminds me of Watership Down and The Secret of Nimh, which is a good thing. The animation and 3D effects already look fantastic. Pixar has some competition this year.
Sam Neill, Geoffrey Rush, Helen Mirren, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, David Wenham, Abbie Cornish, Ryan Kwanten
September 24

Like Dandelion Dust - Directed by Jon Gunn, Written by Stephen J. Rivele and Michael Lachance
This story is a little Lifetime network for me. But the preview seems to hint at a more in-depth analysis of human nature, love, and family. Pepper’s character is thrown in jail, prompting his newly pregnant wife (Sorvino) to give the child up for adoption. When Pepper finally gets out, the couple begins a campaign to reclaim their son. But his new parents are, on the surface, a much more stable and privileged family. It’ll be on cable before you know it, but don’t dismiss it too quickly.
Mira Sorvino, Barry Pepper, Cole Hauser, Kate Levering
September 24

Waiting for “Superman” - Directed by Davis Guggenheim, Written by Davis Guggenheim and Billy Kimball
The director of An Inconvenient Truth is back to remind us that America is ruining the world with this bold and honest documentary about our education system. Most likely lacking in “new” or “groundbreaking” information, this will probably end up sweeping the nation much like its predecessor. The inclusion of Stock George Reeves Superman footage concerns me. But hey, it’s a step up from Futurama and Al Gore.
September 24

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - Directed by Oliver Stone, Written by Allan Loeb and Stephen Schiff
As much as I dislike Oliver Stone, he’s not fucking around this time. Not only did he put a heavy hitting cast together (and Shia LeBeouf), but he got the scribes of Lolita and Things We Lost in the Fire to pen his script. The “new face” of Wall Street doesn’t really do it for me, and the mobile phone gag from the preview is a bit clumsy (Hey, remember Wall Street from the ‘80’s? I directed that! This movie is like that movie! Sequel!), but after being delayed for four months, I admit I’m eager to check it out.
Michael Douglas, Shia LaBeouf, Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin, Susan Sarandon, Frank Langella, Eli Wallach, Charlie Sheen
September 24

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Mesrine
This two-part story has been getting unanimously rave reviews since its premiere in 2008. French criminal mastermind Jacques Mesrine (Cassel) runs rampant across the country, robbing, killing, and becoming infamous. This is actually a true story from the ‘60’s and ‘70’s. I finally found this online, and since it’s not coming to a theatre anywhere near me, I don’t feel bad watching it for free. There are plenty of American films like this, but the French have a way of making, uh, good films, while we make Public Enemies. If you get the chance to see either of these, take it.
Killer Instinct - Directed by Jean-Francois Richet, Written by Abdel Raouf Dafri
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Gerard Depardieu, Cecile De France, Elena Anaya
August 27 (Limited)
Public Enemy #1 - Directed by Jean-Francois Richet, Written by Abdel Raouf Dafri
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Ludivine Sagnier, Matthieu Amalric, Samuel Le Bihan
September 3 (Limited)

Suck - Written and Directed by Rob Stefaniuk
I am freaking sick of vampire movies, and I never want to watch another one. Unless it manages to get Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Moby, Malcolm McDowell, and the bassist from Rush on screen together. Good job, Rob Stefaniuk. This is artsy, ridiculous horror comedy at it’s best. Me and the half of Canada that isn’t starring in this film are going to love it. Screw everyone else.
Malcom McDowell, Dave Foley, Jessica Pare, Nicole de Boer, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Moby, Alex Lifeson, Carole Pope
September 2 (Limited)

Tomorrow, When the War Began - Written and Directed by Stuart Beattie
Though response to this film has been lukewarm, I’m freaking excited about it. This may be Beattie’s directorial debut, but his writing credits (Collateral, Derailed, Pirates of the Caribbean, 30 Days of Night, Australia) speak for themselves. It is about a group of friends in Australia who return from a camping trip to find their country has been invaded by an anonymous foreign power. They must use every tool and weapon they can find to fight for their homeland. Possibly too serious for a fun teen movie, and too flashy for a serious adult film, this character study in friendship and patriotism might struggle to find an audience, but I’m hoping for the best.
Caitlin Stasey, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Lincoln Lewis, Deniz Akdeniz, Phoebe Tonkin
September 2 (Australia)

A Woman, a Gun, and a Noodle Shop - Directed by Yimou Zhang, Written by Jianquan Shi and Jing Shang
This is probably the film I’m most excited about this month. The director of Hero and House of Flying Daggers is remaking The Coen Brothers’ first film, Blood Simple. How fucking cool is that? It takes place in China in the late 1800’s, but the story is the same. This girl pays this guy to kill her husband, but this girl doesn’t know that this guy hired that guy to kill her and her husband, and nobody knows that the husband actually put a hit out on both of them. Admit it, it’s fucking cool.
Honglei Sun, Dahong Ni, Ni Yan, Xiao Shen-Yang, Xiaojuan Wang
September 3 (Limited)

Heartbreaker - Directed by Pascal Caumeil, Written by Laurent Zeitoun, Jeremy Doner, and Yohan Gromb
As romantic comedies go, I have to say I liked Hitch. So I am kind of curious to see this film about the anti-Hitch, a man who is payed to break couples up. He zeroes in on his target, only to fall in love over a shared obsession with Dirty Dancing. French people reenacting those famous scenes and singing ‘80’s music is amusing to me.
Romain Duris, Vanessa Paradis
September 10 (Limited)

The Hideaway (Le refuge) - Directed by Francois Ozon, Written by Francois Ozon and Matthieu Hippeau
The director of the sexy Focus Feature Swimming Pool is again stranding his characters in a summer house. After a woman and her husband overdose, the husband dies and the wife realizes she’s pregnant. Unwilling to comply with his family’s requests to abort the child, she heads to a cabin accompanied by her brother-in-law. The two must come to terms with the loss of their loved one, the presence of the baby, and their feelings for each other. Steamy.
Isabelle Carre, Louis-Ronan Choicy
September 10 (NY)
September 17 (LA)

The Kid - Directed by Nick Moran, Written by Kevin Lewis, Nick Moran, and Mark Thomas
This is the gritty true story of Kevin Lewis, who was constantly beaten by his mother, and then acted out violently against everyone who cared about him later in life. We all know Natascha McElhone as the hot, patience-of-a-saint ex from Californication. So seeing her as a frumpy, ugly, abusive mother is a bit of a stretch. But the stark realism and honestly are compelling.
Natascha McElhone, Ioan Gruffudd, Rupert Friend, David O’Hara
September 17 (UK)

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