by The Great White Gypsy

The Last Airbender - Written and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
I know it’s strange that I’d include a Shyamalan film in this, considering it’s no secret I hate him. He’s a horrible, horrible writer. But objectively I think he’s a very talented director, and I’m still holding out hope that his idiotic sense of unwarranted self-indulgence will be suppressed once and for all. I’ve heard nothing but bad press so far, but I’m a dreamer.
Noah Ringer, Dev Patel, Nicola Peltz, Jackson Rathbone, Cliff Curtis
July 1

Predators - Directed by Nimrod Antal, Written by Alex Litvak and Michael Finch
Antal (Armored, Vacancy) might not have the resume necessary to instill confidence in a Predator reboot, but under the talented, watchful eye of Robert Rodriguez this should be pretty badass. If the red band trailer hasn’t spoiled it for you already, this round is being fought on the Predators’ planet, meaning new, crazy Predators will be joining the hunt. I seriously can’t wait.
Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace, Danny Trejo, Walton Goggins, Alice Braga
July 9

The Kids Are All Right - Directed by Lisa Cholodenko, Written by Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg
I have to admit, I really liked Laurel Canyon, and I’ve been waiting for Cholodenko to do something else. Looks like she finally found a project with this film about two teenage siblings who go against their lesbian mothers to search for their sperm-donor father. Might be cliche, but Cholodenko has a way of making awkward group dynamics just accessible enough to sympathize with. Annette Bening and Julianne Moore making out might have been sexy like 25 years ago, but nowadays…we’ll just have to see.
Julianne Moore, Annette Bening, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska, Josh Hutcherson
July 9

[Rec] 2 - Written and Directed by Juame Balaguero and Paco Plaza
Unlike 2008’s retarded Quarantine, 2007’s [Rec] (yup, that one only took a year.) was pretty awesome for a shaky cam horror film. If I’ve learned anything though, it’s that foreign horror sequels are nowhere near as superfluous or downright awful as American sequels. And with new generation Spanish horror veterans Gemma Fauria (art director), David Gallart (editor), and Pablo Rosso (cinematographer), I should’ve watched this one when I got my hands on it 3 months ago. Guess it’s time.
Manuela Velasco, Pablo Rosso, Ferran Terraza
Juy 9

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice - Directed by Jon Turteltaub, Written by Matt Lopez, Doug Miro, and Carlo Bernard
Monica Bellucci. Teresa Palmer. Jay Baruchel. These are the reasons I’m even mentioning this movie. As far as summer action films go, this Disney foray into the black arts probably won’t be anything spectacular. I’m not a fan of Nic Cage either, but the effects look well done, the premise is interesting, and I’m digging the dark tone. I figure if I can get through all the Harry Potter movies and Turteltaub’s weak-ass DaVinci Code wannabe I can get through this one. And have I mentioned I’m in love with Monica Bellucci?
Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Monica Bellucci, Teresa Palmer, Alfred Molina
July 14

Inception - Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan
I shouldn’t really have to say anything about this one. To me, this summer is all about Inception. Which is strange, considering this doesn’t feel like the usual mindless summer blockbuster. Nolan hasn’t made too many subpar films, and this one just looks ridiculous. People entering other peoples’ dreams, stealing information, changing the world like the Matrix. I really don’t understand it yet, but I can’t freaking wait. The cast is fantastic, special effects studio Double Negative has been a juggernaut the last few years, and Nolan has managed to maintain his crew behind the scenes. (Wally Pfister, Lee Smith) with some solid additions (production designer Guy Dyas). I’m going to see this on the biggest screen possible.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard, Cillian Murphy, Tom Berenger, Michael Caine, Lukas Haas, Ken Watanabe, Pete Postlethwaite
July 16

Salt - Directed by Philip Noyce, Written by Kurt Wimmer
Philip Noyce isn’t a name that immediately catches recognition in my mind, but looking at his filmography, we all know his work. He has a taste for intelligent, adult action films like Patriot Games, The Saint, and The Bone Collector. This gives me much more confidence that Salt could end up being one of those summer movies that you may not rave about later, but you definitely walk out of feeling satisfied spending the money for. Not many names involved, but I’m sure Jolie takes up most of the budget. My only concern is screenwriter Kurt Wimmer. His career started out great with titles like Equilibrium, The Thomas Crown Affair, and Sphere. But his last few have been pretty damn bad (Street Kings, Law Abiding Citizen, and Ultraviolet, possibly the worst film ever made). I think Noyce will handle his biznass though.
Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
July 23

Life During Wartime - Written and Directed by Todd Solondz
I’ve never seen any of Solondz’s films, but Happiness has been sitting on my shelf for a while now, and I’ve heard good things. He seems to have that morbid, inappropriate sense of humor that’s been made popular in the last few years by directors who shall remain nameless. The subject matter isn’t funny. A woman is trying to maintain her family after her husband is jailed for pedophilia. Her new man seems nice, but her sister’s tendency to jump from lover to lover despite being married distracts her further from her sons. This doesn’t sound amusing, but I’ll bet it is in its own weird way. It’s like someone sarcastically said, “Sure we’ll make your movie. If you can get Allison Janney, Shirley Henderson, Ciaran Hinds, Paul Reubens, and…I dunno…Ally Sheedy to be in it”. What do you mean, “done”?
Allison Janney, Shirley Henderson, Ciaran Hinds, Paul Reubens, Ally Sheedy
July 23

Get Low - Directed by Aaron Schneider, Written by Chris Provenzano and C. Gaby Mitchell
Call me impressed that Schneider’s first film managed to get Bill Murray, Robert Duvall, and Sissy Spacek on screen together. Duvall plays Felix Bush, an eccentric mountain coot who wants to have his funeral while he’s still alive in order to see his friends and family, and tell them the story of why he’s cut off contact with virtually all of them. Sounds very similar to The Living Wake, but obviously the star power in this one is much stronger, and the mixture of character relationship study, introspective life examination, and mystery are intriguing to say the least.
Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, Sissy Spacek, Lucas Black
July 30

The Dry Land - Written and Directed by Ryan Piers Williams
Whoa, a film about the effects of the “War” on terror on a soldier after he returns to his native Texas? Everyone in America will love this film! Doubtful, but it was getting a lot of great press at SIFF earlier this month. With an interesting, eclectic cast it might have some substance to it. That and I haven’t seen Wilmer Valderrama since That ‘70’s Show. I hope George W. has a “party extra” scene. Outta Sight.
Ryan O’Nan, Melissa Leo, Wilmer Valderrama, America Ferrera, Jason Ritter, Ethan Suplee
July 30

The Extra Man - Written and Directed by Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini
It looks like the directors of American Splendor and, um, The Nanny Diaries are aiming their third film in the middle ground between their previous projects. Enough indie cred with Paul Dano and Katie Holmes, but enough mainstream comedy cred with Kevin Kline and an almost unrecognizable John C. Reilly. Kline plays a male escort to New York’s rich widows who, despite his high class attitude, lives in a shitty apartment and drives a broke-ass POS. He takes Dano under his wing to teach him the ropes, and I’m sure along the way they discover things about themselves (such as sleeping with 80-year-old millionaires isn’t all it’s cracked up to be). It kind of seems like there’s two movies going on here, so I’m not sure what to think. I’m excited to see Kline return to a more comic fare, and Reilly is usually a great addition in small doses. But really, how many wings does Paul Dano need to be taken under before he’s a real boy? Wing whore.
Kevin Kline, Paul Dano, Katie Holmes, John C. Reilly
July 30

Twelve - Directed by Joel Schumacher, Written by Jordan Melamed
Damn it, Joel Schumacher. I told you you couldn’t get in here with them shoes. Seriously, The Number 23 wasn’t enough, this guy’s gotta throw out more numbers? This story of young people doing drugs and ruining their lives (and others) could actually be cool. But it just seems like Schumacher is trying to regain street cred that he never actually had by throwing some crazy drugs into the mix and making us watch 50-Cent bang the girl who played Nancy Drew. I’d rather see Zoe Kravitz make out with Ellen Barkin. It could have some good moments though. Especially since Rory Culkin’s in it, and Jack Bauer is narrating. “The following takes place many years after Batman and Robin. Audience groans occur in real time.”
Kiefer Sutherland, Rory Culkin, Chase Crawford, Emma Roberts, Ellen Barkin, 50-Cent, Zoe Kravitz
July 30

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue - Directed by Andrew Monument, Written by Joseph Maddrey
I saw this advertised a really long time ago, and totally forgot about it. The film just made an appearance at the Another Hole in the Head Festival in San Francisco, and now it’s heading to DVD. It’s a documentary that chronicles the evolution of American horror films. They talk to pretty much every big name in horror, from George A. Romero and John Carpenter to Darren Lynn Bousman and David Cronenberg. But they also look at the psychological and cultural context of every horror movement since cinema began. Should be really interesting.
July 1 (DVD)

The Girl Who Played With Fire - Directed by Daniel Alfredson, Written by Jonas Frykberg
This is the second film based on Stieg Larsson’s book trilogy. Many of you uncultured swine will no doubt wait for David Fincher’s english version which will probably not show up here until 2014. I still haven’t had a chance to watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (the first film), but everyone’s been talking these films up for a while now, I’m really hoping I can catch this one on the big screen soon.
Noomi Rapace, Michael Nyqvist
July 9 (NY)

Valhalla Rising - Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, Written by Nicolas Winding Refn and Roy Jacobsen
Though Mads Mikkelsen has been busy in the last 15 years, most people only know him as the latest Bond villain. Refn did The Pusher Trilogy (I only saw the first one, not a huge fan), and the very well-received Bronson. His style is a bit more subtle, he doesn’t overplay dialog, but a little more may have helped Valhalla Rising. It’s already circulating on the web, and I’ve found numerous rumored release dates, but if you can find it, you should probably brush up on your Norse canons and religious history. Though the film is fairly boring with random intense scenes of violence, I felt that I was missing out on several of the obvious layers. If you’re a fan of Lars von Trier’s Antichrist, you’ll probably enjoy it, but be prepared to think and focus a hell of a lot more. Not for everyone.
Mads Mikkelsen, Jamie Sives
July 16 (Maybe?)

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