Well, another Oscar season is over. Thanks again to everyone who stopped by the site to check out our live blog, we had a lot of fun again. Unfortunately, the feelings we’re left with are less than stellar. I imagine this is what sex with Dick Cheney is like: after all that build up and hesitation the ceremony was awkward and clumsy, took too long, ended too abruptly, and now I feel dirty and abused.
We really thought that, after the singing, dancing monstrosity that was Hugh Jackman last year, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin would swoop in and save the day. We were wrong. It’s always a damn shame when two really funny guys come on stage and give a rigid, scripted performance. And as good as it was to see Neil Patrick Harris, his ridiculous song and dance - along with the long-winded acknowledgement of George Clooney - was a poor way to start off the festivities.
It really didn’t get any better. Sean Penn, Cameron Diaz, Steve Carrell, Amanda Seyfried, and Miley Cyrus all stammered through their presentations. The periodic presentations of the Best Picture nominees were lackluster to say the least. With monotone, stone-faced synopses by Keanu Reeves (what?) Kathy Bates, Samuel L. Jackson, and a very unfunny Ryan Reynolds, we were bored most of the night. The highlight was Ben Stiller dressed as a Na’vi. It would have been a lot funnier with Sacha Baron Cohen, but Stiller made us LOL, so it’s all good.
We were slightly more excited a few weeks ago, when we learned that the Academy was canceling the Best Original Song performances, and instructing other nominees to write a separate “thank you” speech for backstage. However, the speeches were still rambling and irrelevant. Worst of all, the Original Score presentation was a bunch of kids dancing around like cats (all mimbly pimbly) for 15 minutes; I actually walked out of the room for most of it.
Probably most frustrating was the return of the Best Actor and Actress presenters. For anyone who hasn’t actually seen it, this is the second year we’ve seen five “friends” or “coworkers” come out and talk about the nominees. Their character, their ethics, their spirit. NO ONE CARES. Especially since we heard the same speech from someone else about Meryl Streep last year. And then, after that whole mess is done, they have someone like Sean Penn come out and announce the nominees??? Are you retarded?
Admittedly, I lost this year’s Oscar contest pretty badly. I maintain it is because I am disgruntled, and picked stupid things because I assumed the Academy is stupid, and will make choices accordingly. That being said, we’re not too mad about the results. Granted, the mere presence of anyone associated with The Blind Side, Precious, or Avatar was insulting to us (especially when amazing movies like The Brothers Bloom were completely snubbed). Probably the biggest travesties were Avatar for Best Cinematography, Precious for Best Adapted Screenplay, and Sandra Bullock for Best Actress. Personally, I have a lot of respect for Sandra Bullock as a person. Particularly for her overall attitude. And it is pretty funny that she’s the first person to win a Razzie and an Oscar in the same year. But the Blind Side was generic and lacking in pretty much every aspect.
On a positive note, The Hurt Locker (Inglourious Basterds aside, the best film this year) won six of its nine nominations, including Best Original Screenplay, Best Sound Mixing and Sound Editing, Best Editing, Best Picture, and Best Director. This also marks the first time a female director has won an Oscar (although to be real, Bigelow’s like 7 feet tall). Jeff Bridges, Mo’Nique, Christoph Waltz, and Up also came through for us in their respective categories.
Sure, we’re pissed about some nominees and the ceremony in general. And the fact that Inglourious Basterds came up short still bothers us. Maybe we won’t boycott the Oscars completely next year, but we’re mad enough to announce that the first annual Sexy Gypsy’ Fuck The Oscars’ Awards (working title) in early 2011. Until then, we’ll be returning you to your regularly scheduled programming. Cheers.
-GWG
click here for a full list of the winners.
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